What Your Parents Don't Know Won't Hurt 'Em...

I tell ya, going to the hospital isn't all that stressful...when you are simply going along to provide a friend with emotional support. My friend Megan took a spill this past weekend trying to get into the boat when it was raining and managed to break her fall with her ribs, hitting the side of the boat (she did, however, not fall into the water, which kept her from potentially being eaten by alligators - always a positive). Seeing as how it hurts to lay down, laugh, sneeze, breath, and a few other common day to day activities, we figured it would be wise to head to the hospital to have some x-rays taken. In general, Megan figured the call home to her parents would go more smoothly if she could say the following: "Yes, mom, don't worry, it's fine. Yes, I went to the doctor. Yes, I got x-rays taken. No, mom, there was nothing broken. Everything is fine". It sure beats the alternative conversation, which would go like this: "Mom...it's not a big deal. I mean, it hurts to breath, but I am sure it's fine. Don't worry..." And then Megan's mom would spend half the night pricing plane tickets to Central America. So, hospital it was, and I told Megan I would come along for the cultural learning experience, like an excursion.

If there is one thing that the Megans have learned, and that they are teaching me, is that if you need to go anything, ask about ten ticos first, what they would do if it were them, or their kid. We took a poll during the day to get the general opinion of "How to approach a hospital visit in a cost and time effective manner", and we certainly received a few interesting answers. One person suggested that we call 911 and say that it really hurt and then we could go in an ambulance, which would mean that Megan would be seen much faster and not have to do so much paperwork or stand in the lines. Another person suggested that Megan act like she didn't speak much Spanish, for the same end result of avoiding lines. Two people suggested that she wear a skirt and lipstick. We were also told to be prepared for a four to five hour wait. When we swung by the apartment to grab some reading material and her insurance card, our neighbor Lance decided to tag along and his contribution was two decks of cards and a giant root beer float to share in the waiting room. Score!

It is amazing what sugar, cards, and good company can do to make you forget you are in the emergency room at the hospital. Two hours later (record time!) Megan had x-rays in hand and was heading to the pharmacy to pick up some prescription Advil. Not bad at all, and better yet, she hadn't broken or fractured anything. Just a nice bruise, a little R & R, and a calm phone call home to her parents in the States, although she did leave out the bit about the alligators in the water. These are things that you share with your parents a few years down the road when you are safely back in their house sharing a nice dinner and you can say, "Oh, did I not tell you about that time when I almost died?? Must have slipped my mind. Anyway, it went something like this..." You might get a scolding, but in general, all heart attacks and sleepless nights were avoided, and everyone is happy.